YOU KNOW YOUâ€™VE BEEN SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME on the â€˜Net when you see the same jokes coming around again for the third timeâ€¦ however, this one still raises a decent chuckle or two so Iâ€™ve decided to republish here for posterity.
The humour comes in the form of a letter from a customer to technical support complaining about his Wife V1.0, and of course then proceeds to the response from the technical team. Enjoy 🙂
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 . I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Championship Manager 3, Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6
I canâ€™t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. Iâ€™m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesnâ€™t work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
A Troubled User.
REPLY from TECHNICAL SUPPORT
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application â€œYes Dearâ€ to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Hahhahaha
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Baby Poo Cleaning 2.0, Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.
However, be very careful how you use these programs . Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Chocolates 4.0, Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !
WARNING!!! DO NOT , under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck,