Dear customers, please remember to call us more often because:
– When you get the message saying “Are you sure?” click on that ‘Yes’ button as fast as you can. Hell, if you weren’t sure, you wouldn’t be doing it, would you? Blame it on the Helpdesk if you accidentally delete that important file or email instead for not displaying much bigger fonts
– Feel perfectly free to say things like “I don’t know nothing about that computer crap”. It never bothers us to hear our area of professional expertise referred to as crap.
– When you need to change the toner cartridge, call the helpdesk. Changing a toner cartridge is an extremely complex task, and Hewlett-Packard recommends that it be performed only by a professional engineer with a master’s degree in nuclear physics aka Albert Einstein’s calibre
– When something’s the matter with your computer, ask your secretary to call the help desk instead. We enjoy the challenge of having to deal with a third party who doesn’t know anything about the problem and just require someone to come over and take a look instead.
– When you receive a 20-meg movie file or mp3 songs, send it to everyone as a high-priority mail attachment. We’ve got plenty of disk space and processor capacity on that mail server.
– Don’t even think of breaking large print jobs (more than 10 pages) down into smaller chunks. God forbid somebody else might get a chance to squeeze into the printer queue.